Flying Fecal Matter Intersects With Rotating Inclined Plane

It's probably best to stand behind it.

A top team of Professors and Grad Students worked to study the results if the long postulated and proverbial "shit hit the fan." In a double-blind study involving fans and feces from multiple sources and in different weather conditions, the results have been released.

Dr. Beckett Samuels, PhD, revealed that at a cost of 1.6 billion dollars and after three years of intense research, the team has reached some interesting conclusions.

The net result of the flying fecal matter intersecting with the rotating inclined plane is such that the impact causes feces to be broken into smaller pieces, which then travel in the direction of airflow and intercept any solid object in their flight path.

The team found this to be true in optimum and less than optimum weather conditions and with varying degrees or wetness or dryness in the fecal samples.

While fan motor strength did play a part in speed of impact and distance of possible impact, lesser powered motors still yeilded similar results.

"In other words, when the shit hits the fan, you get a shit shower," Dr. Samuels concluded.

Your tax dollars at work.

Obama vs. Arizona: The President is fighting a reckless war that will backfire politically

President Obama's efforts to battle the anti-illegal immigration law in Arizona will not help him politically.

AZ Gov cancels border conference -- CA and NM demand it go on
CIA director confirms that 7 agents died in suicide bombing
The Obama administration is getting quite the reputation for bucking the wishes of the people. From pushing through an unpopular health care bill to imposing a moratorium on offshore drilling that's costing the already-suffering gulf region precious jobs, it has refused to back down when it comes to the will of the masses.

Now, President Obama's Justice Department has decided to sue the State of Arizona over its new law targeting illegal aliens, when a majority of the public favors the legislation, leaving many to wonder if the increasingly detached White House has gone too far.

The administration says its lawsuit is all about the law; Arizona, it says, is trying to enforce immigration statutes - which is the federal government's job alone.

It's hard to believe from a President who has already shaken the finger of moral disapproval at the bill.

Rather, anyone with basic political sense can see the move for what it is: a purely political maneuver intended to invigorate Hispanic voters - a key piece of the Democratic base - in time for the November elections. Obama is hoping that a bloody judicial showdown on immigration will translate into high turnout for Democrats. And that could be enough to sustain Democratic majorities in Congress.

Don't count on it. For the strategy to work, registered Hispanic voters would need to turn out in droves over what essentially boils down to a nuanced debate between federal versus states' rights.

While some legal Latinos will buy the concern that the bill could lead to racial profiling - an outcome the Arizona law strictly forbids - most likely voters are overwhelmingly against illegal immigration. Even if some find the Arizona law abhorrent, it won't likely be enough to counter the majority of Americans who side with the Grand Canyon State and would favor a similar law in their own states.

According to a Pew Research Center poll conducted May 6 to 9, nearly six in 10 voters favor the Arizona legislation, the broadest support in favor of the requirement that people produce documents verifying their legal status. A whopping 86% of Republicans, 65% of Democrats and 73% of independents back that provision.

When it comes to immigration, most Americans want the border secured first and foremost. But securing the border would take the immediacy of the immigration issue off the table. You see, Obama needs the border as a carrot to pass a larger bill in Congress that gives amnesty.

Think about it. What sounds better: "The Protect Our Borders Now Act" or the "Amnesty for Everyone Bill"? Without serious provisions that address border security, any such legislation is unlikely to pass, particularly if the GOP gains seats in the fall or takes control of the House of Representatives, something Obama is expecting, with the help of Hispanics, not to happen.

And so, in an effort to maintain and expand the Democratic base, Obama risks support within it. A sharp divide among the unions could ensue as it did in 2007 during the last immigration fight if blue-collar workers believe Obama is favoring illegal aliens who take their jobs and refusing to stand up for the suffering American worker.

With unemployment hovering at almost 10%, a bitter battle between two levels of government is unprecedented and unnecessary. Voters want action on the economy, not more federal government overreaching. A very public power struggle between the President and one of the states in the Union is not likely to play well, especially because it's Washington that has dropped the ball when it comes to tackling the out-of-control issue of illegal immigration.

Declaring war on the State of Arizona is one thing. Declaring war on the State of Arizona while the economy is on the verge of bankruptcy and a double-dip recession is another. Restoring jobs and economic and national security should be the President's top concerns. If he doesn't change course, it'll be him who is on trial next in the court of public opinion.

andrea@andreatantaros.com



Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/opinions/2010/07/08/2010-07-08_obama_vs_arizona_the_president_is_fighting_a_reckless_war_that_will_backfire_pol.html#ixzz0t8LdgoOK

UK Toilet Caper Comes Acropper in Crapper Uproar as Shit Hits The Fan In Shopping Mall Shitter!



Bring Your Own TP to New Rochdale Loo as Mall Manager Fingers Out Whats Politically Correct!

"Holy Shit!" Those were the first words that came to mind as Mall Shoppers in Rochdale stepped into the loo at the local mall today and found only a stinky sink hole to provide relief.

According to Mall Spokesman Hortense Prettymoth, the new 'state of the art' crappers were installed at great expense to accommodate 'cultural sensitivity' after a guided tour of some of the area's residences where 10% are either of Pakistani or Bangladeshi decent, and prefer shitting into an open hole in the ground to keep traditions alive.

While most of the foreign residents don't go to the mall, preferring to shop at home from door to door peddlers, or buying bread and fly specked dead chickens from corner vendors in keeping with their other traditions, apparently mall owners took heed when Muslim Community Organizer Mullah Larry Hussein Obama, said to be a distant bastard relative of the US President, suggested it "might improve neighborhood relations and prevent 'possible' unrest leading to picketing and disruption of trade."

Obama is the sole proprietor of "Obama Bog Diggers, LLC" and sits on the board of the English Toilet Association. His Vuxhall trucks, seen everywhere now around London where they clean out sewer drains, proudly proclaim, "Your Shit is My Bread & Butter."

"What bollocks!" said Kevin McWorthy, a retired gunner from the Royal Navy who experienced the new toilets, also known as Nile Pans, or more commonly as a Turkish Toilet.

McWorthy said he was appalled when he ducked in to take a good crap and was prepared to sit a spell with his Sun tabloid while the wife was out looking to buy some new dish towels.

"Listen mate, we used to have clean facilities here. What do I find now? A shit strewn floor..can't even sit down, and what was I to do with me trousers then...let them slide down around me ankles and sop up the muck...not bloody likely...It's a disgrace I say....Bastards!"

Down at the next stall a highly distressed Patrick O'Shannahan a Boston Irishman visiting relatives was waiting for janitorial help. "Can you believe this shit," he said hysterically, "come all the way over here only to wind up shitting in a hole in the ground... lost my wallet, eyeglasses and passport down the bog hole....I thought you people had come further than this!"

'Rooster' McAllister, who said he was just over for a quick visit from Scotland was more philosophic, "well, with me kilts it wasn't such a big deal...but the finger bowl instead of the old bog paper was kind of off putting...I didn't miss much with me finger, but really, this really is kind of heathen, innit?"

An American tourist identified as Willard "Splinter" Highwater from Arkansas, USA, was seen taking pictures of the new facilities from all angles.

When axed about his fascination Willard commented, " Well, geez, dad gumit, I've been looking to streamline the outhouse back home and save some money at the same time....this new hole in the ground scheme without the board with splinters seems keen to me.....just have to wear me high top pig boots when I go out to take a 'big un'...who woulda thunk these Muslims were on top of technology...guess that's why the President wants them to help NASA get to the moon....I know they had trouble with the Ruskie toilet leakin' in outer space...this new gimmick should shure cure the problem!"

I know, I know, you just can't make this shit up!

Great Britain Going Down the Crapper: Shopping Center Bosses Bow to Muslim Activist and Install New ‘Asian Toilets’…

http://weaselzippers.us/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/asian-crapper.jpg

Dear Muslims: When in Rome, shit as the Romans do…

(Daily Mail) — For centuries, the great British loo has been a matter of envy to the rest of the world.

Thanks to the efforts of pioneers like the legendary Thomas Crapper, we have long since led the world in comfort and hygiene.

Now, however, that could be about to change.

For most of us, the squat toilet is nothing more than a staple of horror stories about old-fashioned French service stations or the exploits of adventurous backpackers in far-flung parts of India.

But this basic form of plumbing, also known as a Turkish toilet or Nile pan, could be coming to a shopping centre near you – and all in the name of cultural sensitivity.

From next week, shoppers in Rochdale who push open the cubicle door expecting the reassuring sight of a modern, clean lavatory could instead be faced with little more than a hole in the ground.

Bosses of the Greater Manchester town’s Exchange mall have installed two as part of an upgrade costing several thousand pounds after attending a cultural awareness course run by a local Muslim community activist.

A familiar sight in parts of the Middle East, and still sometimes seen in France and Italy, the toilets require users to squat above them, rather than sitting.

With one in ten of Rochdale’s population of Pakistani or Bangladeshi origin, centre managers say they have been told some members of the local Asian community prefer them for cultural reasons.

They are more hygenic

ABC return to your homeland and face the music

Asian style loos are of course healthier as well.


Many doctors and gynecologists are baffled by this. However, there is a simple explanation for the high incidence of pelvic floor prolapse among women in the Western world: sitting toilets.

Unlike their counterparts in the West, women (and men) in Asia, Africa and Middle East still perform their bodily functions (including childbirth) in the squatting position.

By squatting for waste elimination, a woman would not dislodge her pelvic floor and organs as a result of having to perform the Valsalva Maneuver -- the practice of holding one's breath, and straining and pushing downwards with the diaphragm.

By preventing the use of the proper posture for evacuation, the sitting toilet makes it physically impossible for users to evacuate waste easily and effectively because the colon, which is designed with squatting in mind, is in the continence mode.


Dr F.A. Hornibrook, in his 1993 book The Culture of the Abdomen, had warned against the use of sitting toilets:



"Man's natural attitude during [elimination] is a squatting one, such as may be observed amongst field workers or natives. Fashion, in the guise of the ordinary water closet, forbids the emptying of the lower bowel in the way Nature intended.

Now in this act of [elimination] great strains are imposed on all the internal organs..."



Likewise, Dr H. Aaron also wrote about the importance of squatting and disadvantages of using a sitting toilet in his book "Our Common Ailment" published in 1938:


"When the thighs are pressed against the abdominal muscles in this position, the pressure within the abdomen is greatly increased, so that the rectum is more completely emptied.

Our toilets are not constructed according to physiological requirements. Toilet designers can do a good deal for people if they will study a little physiology and construct seats intended for proper [elimination]."



The truth is that trying to empty the bowels in the sitting position is like driving a car without releasing the parking brakes. In frustration, and in an attempt to force waste out, one has to hold the breath and strain to push downwards with the diaphragm forcefully. Over time, it can cause a pelvic floor prolapse.

It is good that the Asian community is leading the way in education on this matter!

http://www.toilet-related-ailments.com/toilet-related-health-problems.html#10

American Standard have a lot to answer for!

http://www.americanstandard-us.com/

S.

S.