A little girl goes a drug store and says sell me two viagras 1
The pharmacist a little bit surprised says :darling what do you need the viagras for ?
The little girl smiles and says :this for my dad ,he has diarrhea
The pharmacist replies ; but honey ,viagra is not for diarrhea
The girl cries :Yes its is good for diarrhea ,because last night I heard my mother telling my dad that he should take viagra because his shit can not get hard Ha ha ha ha ha ha got it ?

Johnny returns home from school ans is visibly upset.
His dad says :Junior what is wrong, you got into a fight in school today
Johnny says ad you are right , women do not know what they want, They always change their mind.
My teacher has been saying all week that 5 and 5 are 10 and today she changes her mind and says 3 and 7 are 10 6 and 4 are 10 2 and 8 are 10 Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha ha got it ?

Henry and Bob want to drink so bad but they are broke, Henry has only $ 2 in his pocket.
Bob says listen Henry this is what we are going to do: We are going to buy a hot dog and we will go to abar.
We will start drinking and I will go to the toilet put the hot dog inside my pants and hold it with my hand inside your pocket. Then you will kneel down open my flier and start to sucking on the hot dog. The bartender will think that we are gay and will kick us out and we will drink for free.

They go to a first bar , order the most expensive drink , Bob goes to the bath room returns to the bar Henry kneels dowmn and begins to suck on the hot dog. The bartender and some other patrons get upset a kinck them out and they drink for free.
They go to the next 4 bars and do the same think when they ready to go to the 5th bar , Henry says :Say Bob give me the hotdog it is your turn to kneel down now ,Bob says :What hotdog ? I threw it away after we left the first bar ha ha ha ha ha got it ???

A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United
States . He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and
says, 'Thank you, Mr. American, for letting me in this country , giving me
housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!'

The passerby says, 'You are mistaken, I am Mexican.'

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. 'Thank you, Mr.
American, for having such a beautiful country here in America !'

The person says, 'I not American, I'm Vietnamese.'

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes
his hand and says, 'Thank you, Mr. American, for this wonderful America!'

That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Middle East, I am not
American!'

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you an American?'

She says, 'No, I am from Africa!'

Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the Americans?'

The African lady checks her watch and says, 'Probably at work!'

Two boys were talking on their to school in a cab.
Junior says : if my father and my mother were lawyers i would be a lawyer.
Peter says : if my mother and father were doctors i would be a doctor. They kept on talking :if my mother and my father were this i would be this too.
The taxi driver gets upset and yells: Damn it ,shut up ! If your father was a gay and you mother a lesbian what would you be ?
Junior thinks for a minute and says: well. if my father was gay my mother lesbian I would be a taxi driver
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !!!!!!!

Very cute and funny fellas.....

Hey, can anybody tell me: How do you a get a One-Hand Man of a Tree????


Oh! OKay! You Wave at Him!!! Get it???

A Lady places an ad in the news paper, and it reads as follows: Looking for a Man to meet the following criteria:

Won't Hit Me....
Won't Run Away...
Very Good in Bed....
So alone comes this guy with no arms and no legs, and rings her door bell.
She answers the door and looks down; can I help you?
And the man answers; yes I'm here about the ad in the paper....
And he continues; I won't hit you, cause I have no arms, I won't run away, cause I have no legs....
She cuts him off and asks; well, how are you in bed?
And he answers: How do you think I rung the door bell?????

Oh come on! I'm waiting ove here....... Hellooooo!

After a tragic fire in a Catholic school, three young ladies arrived in heaven. They were met by San Pedro, who told them that all each of them had to do to be admitted beyond the pearly gates was to answer a question about the Bible.
The first young woman faced St. Peter.
“What,” he asked, “was the name of the first man?”
“Adam”, she answered, and was admitted.
The second young woman approached St. Peter.
“What,” he asked, “was the name of the first woman?”
“Eve”, she said, and the gates swung wide for her.
The third young woman approached St. Peter.
“What,” he asked, “was the first thing Eve said to Adam?”
The young woman wrung her hands.
“Gee, sir, that’s hard.”
St. Peter stepped aside and admitted her.