In the crowded field of Latin American dictators, one man stands above all the rest and has risen to the zenith of the pantheon of Latino dictatory. He is the Babe Ruth, the Lawrence Olivier, the Michael Jordan of iron fisted meglomanical rule. That man is Fidel Castro.
Ah, Fidel. The name rolls off the tongue and evokes so many images in the head, he doesn’t even need the rest of his name. Like Cher or Madonna, one name is enough. His beard alone is an A-list celebrity. He has survived 10 U.S. presidents, 69 assassination attempts, 14 attempted coups, one major invasion, and the worst nuclear, (or nuculer), crisis the world has ever seen. Much of the world sees him as a hero for standing up to the United States while others see him as a tyrant that has maintained power through systematic repression and violence. Why has he survived so long? One word: Conjones. Big fucking conjones made of titanium wrapped steel.
Fidel began life like most communist leaders, as a rich, privileged youth with access to the best schools and opportunities his country had to offer. He was highly intelligent and was recognized by his peers as having unmistakable charisma. He graduated from the University of Havana’s Law School and began preparing for a career in politics. He joined the Partido Ortodoxo and worked with the party’s leader Eduardo Chibas and was present when Chibas committed suicide live on the radio. Cuba, at the time, was in the grip of a series of corrupt governments secretly run by the mafia, the CIA, and a bunch of fat cat thieves parading as politicians. In 1953, former president and asshole Fulgencio Batista seized power in a coup d’etat and set himself up as president for life. Fidel began to plan his revolution.
On July 26, 1953 Fidel and his brother Raul led a small group of rebels on an attack at a military barracks in Moncada, Oriente province. The ill-equipped rebels were quickly routed and many of the prisoners were tortured and killed. In his trial, Fidel represented himself, stating that, “History will absolve me.” He was exiled to Mexico where he and his brother began planning an invasion of the island. While in Mexico, Fidel met a young Argentine doctor, Marxist, and beret enthusist named Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara who came on board as the expedition’s physician. In 1956, Fidel and 79 rebels boarded a yacht called the Granma and set off to invade Cuba. Upon crashing the boat on the shore, most of the force was killed by Batista’s troops. Fidel, Che, Raul, and Cuban Cowboy Jesus Camilo Cienfuegos headed for the hills to wage the war guerilla style. They began broadcasting a radio show called Radio Rebelde in which they preached their message of revolution against Batista’s corrupt regime. Thousands joined the fight, and quickly the war started leaning in Fidel’s favor. In 1959 Batista fled the country and Fidel and his army of Barbudos (bearded ones) marched into Havana. Then stuff went kind of weird.
Fidel became encojonado, and allowed Soviet premier Nikita Kruschev to put nuclear missiles on the island.
I love Ju Niki
This event, known as the Cuban Missle Crisis, was the closest the world ever came to total nuclear distruction. Kruschev and Kennedy agreed to dismantle their missiles in exchange for leaving Cuba alone. Fidel was now the unquestioned leader of his island kingdom. Cuba virtually shut itself off from the non-commie parts of the world and stayed that way for the next thirty years. Starting in 1959 almost 2.5 million Cubans would flee the island and Castro’s heavy handed rule. There were several major exoduses in 1961, 1968-1972, 1980 (the famous Mariel Boatlift, like in Scarface), and the Cuban rafters of the ’90s.
There are two of Castro’s achievements that are undeniable, which are healthcare and education. Cuba has the highest literacy rate in the world–99%–as well as being the country with the most college graduates in the Western Hemisphere. People from all over the world come to Cuba for the world class (and free) universities and technical schools. Cuba’s healthcare system is also considered to be one of the best in the world, with doctors available in clinics in every neighborhood. Cuba’s doctors are on the cutting edge of medicine and are sent literally all over the world that doctors are needed. All of this, free.

Besides the whole mass exodus from the island by millions of people thing, all went well for our buddy Fidel until the collapse of the Soviet Union in the early 90’s. With Cuba’s main papi chulo gone, dire shortages began on everything from food to gas. This is known as Cuba’s special period, in which a new flood of Cubans began leaving for the States on homemade floats. Called Balseros, these people set off in shark infested waters in the hopes of getting to the States. The most famous balsero was Cuban, muppet superstar Elian Gonzalez, who’s landing in Miami sans his dead mom set off an unholy shitstorm of a custody battle that ended in his being returned to his father. Fidel, always the spin doctor, used this to as a P.R. tool to show how awesome he still was.

Fidel has also used the embargo to his advantage, saying that the American government is trying to impose their imperialist will on his tiny country and that the embargo only hurts the average Cuban citizen. This has won him lots of support from people around the world that are not happy with American foreign policy. In the late 90’s, Fidel began a massive campaign to revitalize his crumbling infrastructure and try to attract tourists. The European, Canadian, and Japanese began building giant resorts and legions of pasty white tourists flocked to Cuba for mojitos, cohibas and Cuba’s famous jinetera prostitutes.
In 2002, Fidel met the love of his life in the person of Hugo Chavez. Hugo loves Fidel and has set about following his mentor’s socialist dictatorship in every way. Venezuela has helped Cuba tremendously in importation of goods and gasoline. Fidel and Hugo have a bromance that won’t quit and has benefitted both countries tremendously.

Then in 2006 Fidel became very sick, of nobody-knows-what, and decided to hand over the reigns of power to his younger brother Raul Castro, age 76. Since then, between ice cream slumber parties with Hugo Chavez and writing about the environment, Fidel is said to be enjoying his retirement while still mostly telling his brother what to do from his sick bed.

What lays in store for Fidel? Some say he will die soon and be taken up to the great politburo in the sky, where big-titted angels in olive garb will stroke his beard for all eternity. Others say the devil has a flaming, spiked dildo with his name on it. Perhaps he is secretly being turned into a cyborg, like Robocop and will live forever. It is hard to say, but what is certain is that love him or hate him Fidel Castro is one of the most important figures of the 20th century. Dead or alive he’s gonna be with us for a long time.

[If I may remove my editorial red starred beret, and speak for a second from personal experience, Fidel is someone very close to home. My uncle Pedro died in Fidel's revolution fighting Batista in 'Che' Guevara's platoon. My grandparents ran guns and had a communications station for Castro. When he rode into Havana, my family was there cheering him on as he gave his famous victory speech. Then things began to change. Like many Cubans my grandparents believed that Castro was fighting to create a progressive, liberal democracy in Cuba, but this was not to be. A family friend, Huber Matos who was one of Castro's generals, was soon jailed for asking when the elections were coming. My grandmother went to see him in jail and Huber told her what was coming. My grandfather joined the counter revolution in 1961 and took part in the planning of the Bay of Pigs Cuban operation. When the attack failed, my grandfather was put in prison and only escaped execution through his connections in the local government. They spent the next 8 years being punished for their beliefs, with my mother and aunt being sent to re-education camps where they were forced to cut sugar cane and clear fields. My grandfather was sent to remote parts of the island for months at a time where he tended to the sick because he was a doctor. In 1969, heartbroken, they left the island after being told that they either leave or face prison time. When my grandmother died of a brain tumor in 1992, before she lost the power of speech, she would talk of Fidel and the revolution. She didn't know who we were, but she remembered Fidel.

This summer marks the 40th anniversary of their exile, and with relaxed travel restrictions, my mother and I traveled to the island. I had been before, but my mother had not returned since she was 19 years old. Fidel is retired now, Raul is in charge, and Cuba is fast becoming the tourist filled mecca it once was.

Just for the record, I think the embargo should be lifted as it is one of the stupidest piece of American foreign policy ever. It has done nothing but hurt the Cuban people and give Castro a martyr's cross to hold. I also think that most of the Anti-Castro Cuban groups in Miami are full of shit as well. They don't want the embargo lifted as they make millions every year keeping it in place. To my mind, Congressman Lincoln Diaz-Balart (R-FL), who almost single-handedly keeps the embargo in place, and Castro are two sides of the same asshole coin. (Diaz-Balart is also Castro's nephew by marriage.)

Though I feel anger towards Castro for his actions I can't forget the obvious truth: I owe him who I am. By a strange twist of fate, both I and my fellow Cuban-Americans owe Castro our very existence. My parents met here in the States and probably would not have met if they had stayed on the island. This is true of many of my generation as well as the circumstances surrounding our lives here in the U.S. I would not have had the experiences or the relationships I have had nor would I be writing here for Anyguey. So to Fidel I say thanks, compañero. You are still an asshole though.] :lo

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Some of us that have suffered unjust imprisonment of close family members, exile, and rejection by your friends and peers, in cowardly denial to please the dictators, know that there is another side of the coin to suffering and distress, and if you take the pain as a life lesson, and move on, it makes you stronger, and a more able survivor.

Castro also had a disdain for the game - especially after Che beat him



Chavez launches Golf War
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez's political movement has found a new target: golf.
Aug 13, 2009 04:30 AM

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez's move to close golf courses is similar to what his mentor Fidel Castro did shortly after the 1959 Cuban Revolution. Castro ordered military barracks to be built on most of the golf courses that once catered to high-rollers.

But golf was still played in Cuba. In a 1962 publicity stunt, Castro played a round with Che Guevara, who had been a caddy in his Argentine hometown before he became a guerrilla icon. According to Castro, The New York Times reports, it was meant to make fun of then-U.S. president Dwight Eisenhower, who was too busy to meet Castro in 1959 when the Cuban leader was in Washington. It turned out that Eisenhower was playing golf.

But Castro lost the round of golf to Guevara, and was so angry that he fired the journalist who wrote about his defeat.

Golf courses are now making a comeback in Cuba under Raul Castro's government because the country needs revenue from tourists........They need everything including toilet paper

Excellent post Fred. I agree with you that the embargo is absurd. It's what kept Castro's iron grip on Cuba for so long.

Did any of you see Fog of War? It's unbelievable what a lunatic this guy Fidel is. He literally scared the shit out of Khrushchev by demanding he nuke the U.S. Khrushchev thought he lost a marble.

Fred, when I first came on to this forum I thought you were a little arrogant. But as I read some of your more profound post I seem to feel a little closeness between you and I.

I am a 49 year old Cuban American that was taken out of my country by my parents at the age of 6. I lived in the United States for 41 years of my life kissing white ass just to make a living. I know that we all have our own destiny, but I think that we have to realize that the Yankee verses Fidel will go down in our history books as you stated “Big fucking conjones made of titanium wrapped steel.” AMEN.

After living under the white man rule for 41 years of my life I was sick and tired of getting it up el cubanoito, so I left “paradise” as everyone thinks it is and came to the Dominican Republic.

After living in the DR for two years now and knowing what I know about American, Cuban, Mexican, Spanish, and now Dominican History. I think to my self, what is better?

I cant say much for Cuba because I have never been back since I left in 66 but I lived the American Dream (Nightmare) and now I am living in “El país de la maravilla” with no laws, no rules, no education just buy your way threw.

Now I look back and wonder to my self, what is better? A country where you think you have liberty, but you really don’t, or a country where you are a slave to your government but you are doing what’s best for your own people, or a country where you do what ever you dam well please and just pay someone off and get what you want.

Now the big question is? Where can you sleep better, have a better future for your family where you know that your children will be well educated, respect you as a parent, and be able to live stress free?

My ex-wife owes $125,000 in student loans and doesn’t have a job to pay them back. She lost our (her) home because she could not keep up the payments. Now she lives with her 71 year old mother who paid her home off 10 years ago, but still has to pay $1,700 per year in taxes plus insurance.

So my question is? Where is it better? Who is better? What is better?

I lost my life over Fidel. Even though I lived in the USA for 41 years of my freaking life “I am still 100% Cuban” I have never given up my roots as some do once they are brain washed by the white man.

I hope and pray that I can one day return to our beautiful Island and be a part of rebuilding our society.

CBSNews.com's Birthday Gift to Fidel: A Story Devoid of Castro Critics
Photo of Ken Shepherd.
By Ken Shepherd (Bio | Archive)
August 13, 2009 - 17:59 ET



"As Castro Turns 83, Cuba Caught Between Past, Future," announces an August 13 headline for the CBSNews.com World Watch blog.

The 10-paragraph entry by Havana-based news producer Portia Siegelbaum amounted to an electronic birthday card for the Communist dictator.

No Castro critics, domestic or foreign, were cited in the story, although Siegelbaum made sure to note how a "U.S.-based religious group, Pastors for Peace" got to hang out on Wednesday with the aging despot.

Yet Siegelbaum failed to note the leftist political bent of Pastors for Peace, describing it merely as "an anti-embargo organization." The Web site for Pastors for Peace, a project of the Interreligious Foundation for -- wait for it -- Community Organization (IFCO), insists that its purpose is:

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...to advance the struggles of oppressed people for justice and self-determination. For almost 40 years, IFCO has assisted the poor and disenfranchised in developing and sustaining community organizations to fight human and civil rights injustices. This work includes education about the realities of the poor in the US and the third world.

Of course, Cubans under the Castro regime have been perpetually disenfranchised from free and fair elections, not to mention human rights and civil freedoms of speech, press, assembly, religion, and bearing of arms.

But don't look to Siegelbaum to question whether the Pastors for Peace are putting blind faith in wolves [the brothers Castro] in sheep's clothing:

Several members of the group, including Harlem Rev. Lucius Walker met with Castro on August 1 in Havana. In the waist-up photo (seen above), Castro, wearing a blue baseball cap and a white windbreaker with blue trim, is standing with his arms around his American visitors, wearing a grin and appearing more robust than in earlier photos.

Of course, Fidel is in retirement from the dictating biz. That's up to younger brother Raul now. As Siegelbaum noted in closing:

Clearly Castro is depending on his brother Raul to salvage the situation even if it means restructuring the economy and the two seem to be on the same page as to what their end goals are. Raul Castro told parliament at the beginning of this month that he had not been elected president to restore capitalism in Cuba nor to hand over the revolution.

"I was elected to defend, maintain and continue perfecting socialism, not destroy it," he said.

No doubt that is what Fidel Castro wishes for as he blows out the candles on his birthday cake.

GC that was a very interesting post about your family personal drama with the Cuban revolution. I knew that all that anger inside you had something to do with the Cuban revolution. Thank you for opening up to us I hope with time it will help ease your pain.

How do you feel about your uncle? Was he a commies or just one of the many puppet used by the commies. I wonder how your uncle if he would have survived the revolution what he would think of the “tropical gulag”. Probably deported himself to Miami like the many that fought for the commies. The Yankee intervention in DR civil war was the result of Cuba turning lefty. In a way the Cuban revolution helped DR defeat our commies.

GC you talked about Hubert Matos imprisonment. Do you think Camilo Cienfuegos was killed by Fidel because he opposed communism? By the way there is a movie starting Andy Garcia THE LOST CITY great movie about the turn of event during the revolution.
I agree with you on the boycot.

Fred,Thank you for trusting us enough to share a very personal part of your life.