Tenaresdr, that was a pretty powerful posting, full of substance and well thought out. and very insightful without explicit sexual acoustics. i commend you for a great job, and articulate sociological lesson.

Dred, good to hear from you!

After many years living outside the DR (my dad was persecuted by Trujillo and we lucked out and left the country in the very early 60s), I had an ideal view of the DR. After visiting there for the last five years at 3 to 5 times a year, I have lived the experience in reality and actuality. Initially, I tried to impose my version of how people should be or saw them as I wanted to see them. Unfortunately, I was blind. Now I understand things that make me sad but are very real about Dominican world view, day-to-day hustle and survival, and the nature of relationships. Jerry Springer would never run out of material in the DR. But it's not only the DR, its really about 2/3 of the world in poverty and shipping all its raw materials to 1/3 of the world that generally lives in opulence. The picture is bigger - check out the Brazilian Sabastao Salgado's work - In an Industrial age... Its very powerful photography. Back to the DR, when you have a woman having sex with a man with AIDS for plantains to feed herself and her two children, you have to ask what the hell is wrong with this picture. The DR has many liabilities: Ignorance, the cycle of poverty, the control of resources by a few, and the Dominicanyorks with their pretentions of money and progress raping and pillaging the DR's women with lies and deceit and bling bling are just a few malignancies tearing the DR apart. Not to mention racism and classism. Raising conscience through well financed education and social programs, developing the economics through micro-financing, dealing with corruption and enforcing the law will be key in making some progress.

I just concluded reading through this entire thread. Very interesting, indeed!

I too have traveled to the DR and other 'developing coutries' over the years. And yes, sex is very much tied to their socio-economic status. I am a male and have been proposed to by many women. While I'm not "bad" looking, and am considered attractive by some, I knew their attraction to me had nothing to do with looks, in so much as it had to do with economics, and that belief of what I could do for the women and their family.

Needless to say, I just took in the scenes, drank of the beautiful cultures, and got the hell out of dodge. As a Brooklyn born and partially raised Caribbean man now living in the Caribbean with frequent travels up north, I can't help but to be a bit cynical when it comes to affairs of the heart with these tourists and economic refugees. Trust me, I've seen it all. Many lonely women travel to the islands to get their groove back or sample some Mandigo manhood. My younger cousins have a field day with them. Many of these women send them airfare to travel abroad to deliver the d--k (lol).
It's amazing!


Also, many of the latin women that come to the islands where I live find themselves quickly attached to a local man for the same economic reasons. While they're here wrecking homes and breaking up families, they are busy constructing their houses, taking care of their kids and lazy ass man back "home". I can't really blame them. It's a strong economic imperative for self preservation. But I question the manhood of some of their men that are in effect prostituting their wives/women. My advice is to just don't get caught out there. Hit it and quit it!!!

Yo Tenaresdr, You're right on point here!!! The 500+ years of turmoil on this small Island, and l just don't mean the warring aspect of it, but the financial and every day living, from religion, cultural to how we see each other as dominicans has been oppress & restraint by the small white elite Europeans who have rule the Island for 500 years. The common Dominican has been mentally & emotionally castrated by these rulers since the terrorist 'Colon' discovered the Island in 1492. As you no doubt know, merengue was illegal & abolish through out is history until the 20th century. The mind set of the small elite rulers was to constraint any natural human feelings & emotions amongst the people, as to better control them. The Dominican are a classic example of a people who like a volcano, when it finally explodes, is wild & unpredictable. In Dominicans, it manifests itself in music, dancing, sometime in the unrefined manners of bling bling, boisterous emotions, and the oldest taboo on the planet SEX. It's a sign of a people who have been emotionally constraint for so long. It's only now in the last 15 to 20 years that it's finally catching up with what the west describe as "civilize society" and l say those words with a pinch of salt. Thanx, but no thanx to the Europeans rulers who only thought us Dominicans how to thief, corruption, to hate each other & those who are different. And of course how to suppress our most natural instincts. Dominicans are just a by product of is ruthless short history impose & enforce by the Europeans. This lady should be given hope, and a little history of what Dominicans have gone through as a people. Some of the people posting on this site seem to be putting most Dominican men in 1-basket, like if most Dominican are built the same. That's just pure fallacy(sorry for the pun). People big up yourself & give credit to the millions of Dominicans who deplore these things & who're a testament to how humans should treat other humans. They're 2-side to each story, we've heard 1-side, so why act like judge & jury. This is how the wild posse acted in the wild west. Some of you are not being genuine towards this lady's concerns, but are actually glowing in her woes. Lets be a bit less callous towards this lady & ourself........... From a Dominican living in Sunny London(sarcasm).

Well regardless of what anyone says about dominican men, the worst offenders live in Mexico or come from Mexico no doubt about it, have never dated one much less married one their soooooo.........ugly looking , experiences shared with girlfriends married to them and actually being their in their presence to see how these men are, says everything, dominican men might have a temper but the mexicano has issues of power of control, power of abuse, and severe machismo, however, to all dominican women "Warning" if you even think that getting together with an american gringo you might as well go back to a dominican, because with these guys all that nonsense you all have with the dominican guys about their "mujeriegos" experiences is nothing compared with the american gringo, they lie right thru their brain, yes they have you on a pedastel, treat you like the goddess they want you to be, buy you everything you might possably want, but loyalty, they don't have a clue as to what that is, theirs not even a sweat gland in their body that will make them perspire when asked about being loyal, watch out, behind your back, at the office, quickies, anywhere they can get it they will, and they carry no remorse for it what-so-ever, i don't care if they get caught by their wife's or girlfriends or mothers or whomever they just don't see a wrong in it. The only reason dominicans get more of a wider coverage of defamation is because dominican women that go to the US, lets it be known their or other places they go to, ofcourse always remember this.........to make a marraige or relationship work, it takes two people, when one is left to do all the work its time to move on, the courting never dies, it lives on with both of you, even when your gone.

Why are we blaming Europeans for our strife? Reality is that unfortunately we as a people are two sided. And just as the US has inundated our society with its material goods it has also sold us its customs. One of these is the idea that "That its not my fault!" it someone else’s fault. I am American it cant be my fault.

How do you arrive at blaming Europeans for all the problems in DR. Our problems are just that Our problems based on our unwillingness to do right. We are a two sided people. One side displays a warm caring loving and humble people willing to give and aid anyone in need, but the other side is betrayal side that will allow side A to dominate as long as there is an absence of opportunity. A Dominican will give you his home to live, and will share what he doesn’t have but beware if he realizes that he can gain far more from your stupidity. Then he will screw you. In other plain words he will help you as long as he knows you have nothing of great lasting value than he has.

Second, Dominican population consist of approximately 10 million people. You would be hard pressed to find one Million adults who are honest and have unquestionable integrity. I mean unquestionable integrity. You can find honest Dominicans in DR, but they are probably less than 4-5 years old.

I gather you have lost plenty of marbles inside that bone they call a cranium...........what are you talking about the subject her is "Reasons Why Dominican Men Are So Beautiful", your comment doesn't make any sense, maybe you need to go back to bed.

For someone who just jumped into the thread please refrain from throwing any rocks.
My little Tulip, follow the thread from the beginning and you will learn its evolution or you may risk conveying the presence of one that always jump into peoples conversations.

There is a specific word for those type of people, I just cant remember the word exactly but I'm quite sure it starts with an M.

Look, i agree that blaming our past experiences is not the solution. But, it is important to remember the past and understand the root causes of our culture, customs, infrastructure, or lack thereof, etc... After all, the holocaust has affected Jewish history and sense of identiy and value forever. Trujillo and the Spanish colonialists set up certain dynamics and values that permeates our day to day behaviors. Some of which we are not even aware. When I went to college at UMASS in Amherst there was a pond named Puffer's pond, and this pond was owened by a family that went back generations and how they got this land was by joining forces with Lord Jeffery Amherst whom gave small pox infected blankets to the local natives who obviously got wiped out. This local family's history, while ugly, has provided generations of wealth. So the past is connected with our present day. Our history of Haitian invasion and how we then treated them decades later is another historical interaction that affects our thinking today. Its like we have a vengence to pay back. I have been to Haiti twice and the people there, despite the poverty and the desperation of City Soliel, are very nice people. But we don't all see that, because of history and few isolated incidents of inappropriate Haitian acts of violence.

Now back to the subject of Dominican people. I want to offer up the theory of internal oppression. I think many Dominican people get caught up in oppressing each other and up-manship. Our culture is very oppressive and unforgiving. I knew a girl who shitted in her pants (she could not hold it) while on a high school trip and to this day they call her "La Cagona." She will not outlive this label. You can show up to any town in the DR and ask for the man with the bold head and fat nose and everybody will direct you to him. I know, its the small town syndrome, but people don't make the formal effort to learn names. I took a Black woman (Ph.D.) to buy land in Samana. An incredible woman, and the Dominicans there, when asking about her, ask for la Negra. Why the hell will they not make an effort to learn her simple name, if anything out of respect. These Dominicans simply discount her. I think this is cultural and an artifact of none to little education. There are lots of Dominicans that will give you the shirts of their backs, but its a double edge sword, be careful if they catch on that you can do something for them. I agree with the previous post on this issue.

So Dominican men are beautiful? Maybe we should say that some Dominican men are attractive, learn early on how to make love, take advantage of women (and the women of the men) and learn how to play the field to a point that staying with one woman is a very difficult endeavor. I have cousins in Lawrence Massachusetts that visit the DR and in two weeks screw about 12 different woman. They say that they go to the DR and spend all their time laying down or in bed. I wonder why there were over 50,000 cases of AIDS reported in the DR in women less than 24 years of age? I know men who have there wives or live in girlfriends in one apartment and two apartments away, have their "Querida". All this cheaters and "Cuernos" are incredible but part of the day-to-day hustle and bustle. Many times the cheating has nothing to do with survival or poverty but with what is socially valued or rewarding , simply part of life. My friend, a doctor in Santiago, has about 13 girlfriends that he screws and he is married. He tells me he even screws his friends' wives because they chase after him. I have seen lots of this in PR too. I think its sad, but even worst when you can't be honest about it. If I were to be with a women in the DR and I know she is a whore, then I know the rules of the game. But if she portrays herself as miss rightious and screws others behind my back, this is not cool. Its the decit or lies that is debilitating. So my friend EZZA11 is being schooled on what its like in the DR and in reality the real world. I think all these things happen everywhere but in degrees and with different dynamics. The poor guy in the DR sneaks into the house to screw some other man's wife or does it behind a Amapola tree, while the rich guy in London meets up with his lover at the Carlton Ritz in NY on a "business" trip. Its all the same outcome. I will say that it is encouraging to meet people who have been married for a longtime and have been faithful. I met a guy from Salcedo who was married for 70 years (he is 95) and has been faithful. There are always many exceptions to the rule.

don't insult my intelligence with your Moron issue because don't forget this posting was really for women to post in, and for your information i have been reading all posts just so you will know, not that, the information will help

however we do thank you for your honest opinons about men and how they really are, because that will help dominican women and others find companionship on another Island.